Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
