Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
