Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize