Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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