Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
