I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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