I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
