that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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