And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
