Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
