my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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