I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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