think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
