It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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