Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
