You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize