girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize