can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
last night I used snow as a chaser
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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