Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize