Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I lost the right to judge tonight
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
