imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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