Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Vodka?
Forever.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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