I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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