how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
