worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You're a waste of cheezeits
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i think my cat just said my name.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
