she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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