I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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