Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
