Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Can Purell be used as lube?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
