she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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