you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
