i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
