I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
