i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
