Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
