Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
