left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
