Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
