My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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