i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
