It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
