Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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