he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
