HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
