I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
