so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
