His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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