Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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