This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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