she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
