me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
