hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize