So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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