Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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