I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
