I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
