Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
