So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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