I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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