What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have tasted many bathrooms
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
