if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
